Our felon president.

What does the rest of the world think?

Our new president is guilty of rape and corruption. Although suspiciously not having been convicted of either of these, anyone with the slightest concern for our little "haven" at the end of Africa knows them to be true and that it really is about who you know, not what you know. Come to think of it, he's also guilty of stupidity (since he doesn't know much), which he assigned to himself the minute he blurted out that a bit of running water and a good lather was all he needed to ensure he wouldn't get AIDS. And if all of this is the truth, what does it say about our legal system?

Jesus, when you lay the facts out it's quite scary how corrupt and fucked things really are down here. What kind of self-respecting country anywhere in the world, no matter what their political history, would even consider allowing a man suspected of these atrocities to call the shots? Never mind the fact that he actually thinks taking a shower will cure him of one of the world's deadliest diseases. (And I've heard him sing - he doesn't have the voice of an angel.)

Well, that country would be us. South Africa. Where anything goes. Where people are allowed to drive drunk (so long as you have a bit of moola in your wallet to pay off the cops). Where someone will kill you for as little as loose change. Where an electrified fence is fashionable. Where having sex with virgins cures AIDS. And where the citizens of one of the most culturally integrated societies in the world are still calling each other racists.

My god!

I mentioned self-respecting up there as a crucial element to this vent. There are countries (most of which are in Africa and one of which happens to be our neighbour) that instate similar fools. But they don't qualify as self-respecting. And neither will we soon enough.

This all begs one big question:

What the fuck?

What the fuck is a country like Switzerland going to think when Jacob Zuma, whose level of education equates to that of a child in Std. 5, stands up to accept responsibility for 43 million people? I kind of remember standard five. We learnt really important stuff. Like long division, which way cursive is meant to slope and what colours are used in the national flag.

And what the fuck is going to happen when Zuma's followers take his song, "Pass me my machine gun" a little too literally. I mean, if he's as educated as a thirteen year old, then surely there'll be at least a handful of his followers that are even less educated. And I doubt a curriculum anything less than Std. 5 would have included Analogy 101 to help them understand that "Pass me my machine gun" doesn't actually mean, pass me my machine gun. Or does it?

And what the fuck will happen to the confidence in an organisation willing to donate funds to the saving of our rich and beautiful wildlife, when they find out the ruler of these lands is a man who will far sooner use the money for his next private jet than to curb the extinction of one of our cats?

This is a joke and the rest of the world are laughing at us.